[He looks off, lips thinning and expression pensive.]
It's... complicated. I can't go back home because... no matter where in time I go back, as long as Ryo is there, as long as he hasn't changed, our world will always be destroyed. So... I had planned to stay here. And... I asked Ryo if he would stay with me, but he wouldn't. And then he learned... what I knew, the future. What happened between us. He blamed God, and he wanted to go back to kill God. He wouldn't change his mind, so...
I gave up. I figured I was just a placeholder anyway... for the Akira he was going back to.
...I want Kaoru and Hikaru to have a second chance. Together. Both of them. They have a world to go back to, friends, family. They miss them. I thought... I thought maybe I would go back with them since our worlds are so similar. But... I'm worried about Ryo. I don't want to leave him behind.
Akira's really thought about it, huh? Not that Lavi hadn't expected him to, but he's spent so much time with cagey shits that he's surprised to hear such a forthcoming answer. It's not one that's asking for advice or affirmation, it just is.
Lavi lets himself witness this moment, thinks about how whatever Akira will decide in the future, he'll remember this branching point. The possibility of one future over the other.]
...That makes sense.
[the essence of it, at least. which is the most important part.]
I think it'd be hard to go anywhere as long as you miss him. [if akira were a bookman, then things would be simple,] And it'd be hard for Ryo too, even if he does go back to his Akira. That one and you are different, after all.
[Akira has maybe thought too much for a person who doesn't have many braincells to thought at all really. His expression doesn't really get any better at Lavi's reply.]
Yeah... He told me. I guess that was the problem.
[His chest rises and falls quietly. He squeezes his eyes shut like he's angry, then relaxes again.]
He decided he wanted to stay here with me finally, but... he didn't tell me until it was too late. I had already... [He chews his bottom lip.] I had already let Kaoru show me what had been too hard for Ryo to show me. What I didn't know was there until... we had the weird drink that let me feel what he was feeling. Anyway.
[look Lavi may be emotionally stupid but he's smarter than Allen and kanda (low bars to clear) so he doesn't go standing man emoji thankfully, he just presses a comforting hand against Akira's back,]
If I were better at this, then I'd do something more useful for you than just stand here.
What does Ryo want to do now? Is he still planning on staying here?
[The bar is so low here, help me. But it's okay. He waves a hand dismissively.]
It's okay. It's... okay. Don't worry about it.
[Not having anything to say to him, he means. That's fine. He gets it.]
Yeah. I'm worried he... gave up. I mean, I know he has. He's just going to stay here even though I told him he could go back. That... a version of me would be there. But he didn't want to do that since... it wasn't me. I don't know what to do. I guess... we'll just have to say goodbye unless we can't get anything to work, and we're all stuck here.
I told him… he might be able to do that. He doesn’t like humans, but he’s been tolerating them better. I don’t know if the twins would allow it… I haven’t asked them either.
[He is worried the obvious answer will be no.]
I don’t know if Ryo would. He… wants us to be together, and I don’t want to hurt him by making him go.
[And if Ryo's hurt, then Akira will be hurt in turn. Lavi's seen that himself.
if only akira was a fckboi...... jk he's not thinking that,]
...Think he'll be hurt no matter what happens. [gently, BECAUSE YOU AND FRANCY DID THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!1] But at least he'll get to make that choice, if Kaoru offers. It's always gonna hurt when you see the person you love with someone else. But maybe seeing you happy will help him too.
And there's no rule saying that he can't be happy again. [unless ryo is a one time soulmate slut like itsuki] 'Specially if he can still be with you as a comrade.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I meant... if it wasn't him, it would have just been Ryo. So I would have been screwed no matter what I did.
[He frowns, brows furrowing.]
Sure. It made him angry.
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...I think he's used to living in a bubble. Distant from everyone else. He feels anger and hatred, but on a impersonal level?
So it's not a bad thing, I think. That he got to be angry with you.
[he rubs his own head....]
But that's easy for me to say, as a bystander.
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You didn't exactly hear what all he said to me the night before we had to get rid of him. [...] But it's fine.
I still think he deserves a chance.
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he'll never know, but he can only imagine. and he can only imagine how much of an effect those words would have on akira, who feels so strongly?]
A chance for what? Friendship? Forgiveness?
[he is Curious,]
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His brows furrow.]
A chance to live. To be happy.
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Maybe he will get that chance, at the party. Heard a little from Bixing and Harrow that you guys have a plan?
[SPEAKING OF...]
Sorry Aki, for putting the hardest part on you guys.
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It's okay. I don't know... We're hoping to try something maybe. Something to help all of us.
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I know you want all of us to have a chance, but what about you?
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...
[He looks off, lips thinning and expression pensive.]
It's... complicated. I can't go back home because... no matter where in time I go back, as long as Ryo is there, as long as he hasn't changed, our world will always be destroyed. So... I had planned to stay here. And... I asked Ryo if he would stay with me, but he wouldn't. And then he learned... what I knew, the future. What happened between us. He blamed God, and he wanted to go back to kill God. He wouldn't change his mind, so...
I gave up. I figured I was just a placeholder anyway... for the Akira he was going back to.
...I want Kaoru and Hikaru to have a second chance. Together. Both of them. They have a world to go back to, friends, family. They miss them. I thought... I thought maybe I would go back with them since our worlds are so similar. But... I'm worried about Ryo. I don't want to leave him behind.
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Akira's really thought about it, huh? Not that Lavi hadn't expected him to, but he's spent so much time with cagey shits that he's surprised to hear such a forthcoming answer. It's not one that's asking for advice or affirmation, it just is.
Lavi lets himself witness this moment, thinks about how whatever Akira will decide in the future, he'll remember this branching point. The possibility of one future over the other.]
...That makes sense.
[the essence of it, at least. which is the most important part.]
I think it'd be hard to go anywhere as long as you miss him. [if akira were a bookman, then things would be simple,] And it'd be hard for Ryo too, even if he does go back to his Akira. That one and you are different, after all.
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Yeah... He told me. I guess that was the problem.
[His chest rises and falls quietly. He squeezes his eyes shut like he's angry, then relaxes again.]
He decided he wanted to stay here with me finally, but... he didn't tell me until it was too late. I had already... [He chews his bottom lip.] I had already let Kaoru show me what had been too hard for Ryo to show me. What I didn't know was there until... we had the weird drink that let me feel what he was feeling. Anyway.
[He looks back at Lavi apologetically.]
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If I were better at this, then I'd do something more useful for you than just stand here.
What does Ryo want to do now? Is he still planning on staying here?
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It's okay. It's... okay. Don't worry about it.
[Not having anything to say to him, he means. That's fine. He gets it.]
Yeah. I'm worried he... gave up. I mean, I know he has. He's just going to stay here even though I told him he could go back. That... a version of me would be there. But he didn't want to do that since... it wasn't me. I don't know what to do. I guess... we'll just have to say goodbye unless we can't get anything to work, and we're all stuck here.
breakingbadjessewail
[will ryo kill the god of ouran high]
YOU’RE SO FUNNY
[He is worried the obvious answer will be no.]
I don’t know if Ryo would. He… wants us to be together, and I don’t want to hurt him by making him go.
YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME!!! YOU AND FRANCY!!!
if only akira was a fckboi...... jk he's not thinking that,]
...Think he'll be hurt no matter what happens. [gently, BECAUSE YOU AND FRANCY DID THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!1] But at least he'll get to make that choice, if Kaoru offers. It's always gonna hurt when you see the person you love with someone else. But maybe seeing you happy will help him too.
And there's no rule saying that he can't be happy again. [unless ryo is a one time soulmate slut like itsuki] 'Specially if he can still be with you as a comrade.
enjoy… 😳
It’s… pretty complicated, but, yeah. I’d like to keep being friends. He’s already changing a little. I want to help him is all.
I don’t want… Scaramouche to be right, but I guess he is… I betrayed both him and Ryo.
DONT USE THE FLUSH EMOJI
(lavi voice) um why is scaramouche so MEAN TO AKIRA?????]
Whether you betrayed him or not is up to him, but he's his own guy. He can't speak for Ryo.
[smashcut to the pc u guys are having where ryo says akira betrayed him]<
🚽
ALSO YEAH. Except it’s a PC with someone else not Akira.]
I know. But they’re a lot alike.