It’s not funny. What he saw isn’t funny, but her reaction to him stating the obvious is funny. And even funnier is the fact he doesn’t see this from the person who has it for him, only the person he had it for.
It’s not funny, but he laughs for a second, reaching a hand back to put it in her knee. He looks at her when most might turn away.]
You love her, [he says with more conviction.] You love her, and you did the stupidest thing, and I get it.
You really jumped on a bunch of spikes for her. [He isn't going to let it go. She did a stupid fucking thing, but this is way better than his shitty memories, so.] Hey.
[He nudges her with an elbow. His amusement softens.]
You should tell her. If you haven't. You should tell her because... you'll regret it forever if you never get the chance.
Long story. There's a tomb. Nonagesimus was obsessed with it, opened it when she was a kid, saw the body in there and fell in love with it. She told me herself. She said I wanted to live forever in case she woke up, that's pretty cut and dry.
[that's... well, that's true. gideon kind of just flounders, for a second, and then:]
I don't know what to do about it. [which is about as honest as she can get. the stupidest thing is that gideon thinks it's obvious, and that she was turned down. not that either of them have talked about this in the least.]
[This is fair. His expression softens, and there's a hint of sympathy frustration at the edges. He gets it.
Is she stupid as hell? Yes. But so is he.]
You said she didn't remember the same things as you either, right? It's tough. [His weak smile is an attempt to be reassuring.] It's okay to say how you feel.
No matter what happens, or what she says, I think... you should be able to say how you feel. I know... I regret not telling Miki how I felt. Because I thought... it wouldn't work. Since I lived with them, since they were like family. I thought she'd only see my that way. So I never said anything. All that mattered was whether or not I could keep her safe, make her laugh.
[That's the serious answer. The not serious answer:]
[the serious answer - that feels a little how she feels now. right now, she's got harrow. harrowhark is with her, for better or for worse, and if she changes that dynamic... she doesn't want to think about it. life without her getting to continue living was unthinkable enough that she threw herself on an iron spike to make sure.
she thinks about that stupid love potion, the one that didn't work, and rubs at her face.
and then akira gives her the not serious answer and she chokes on her own spit.]
He throws up his hands in surrender.] Hang on, it's not like that! [DON'T PULVERIZE HIM.]
It was at the party. Lavi drew one of those ten cards, and I couldn't find anyone fitting. I thought Kuranosuke was a girl, but I couldn't even find him then. So I picked Harrow.
[sometimes your sense of how to love people is real fucked up]
Yep. [...] I vaguely remember screaming. There's - you know when you can't exactly remember something, but you've got the sense of it still? I have that, but with my sword in my hands, and screaming.
[so not like... the most fun memory ever, but you know.]
[Hmm. He nods a little like his understands, and then he sort of just... looks thoughtfully off into the middle distance. The expression is definitely frowning.]
No... The last thing I remember... was lying on one of the last few rocks left on the planet we both destroyed while fighting, not being able to feel my lower half. Ryo was beside me. He was talking about... the stars, how the humans were gone, how... he didn't understand what I had meant, but... he sounded so far away.
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anyway, he says this and she nearly falls off the bike.]
-- What? [DON'T JUST SAY IT]
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It’s not funny. What he saw isn’t funny, but her reaction to him stating the obvious is funny. And even funnier is the fact he doesn’t see this from the person who has it for him, only the person he had it for.
It’s not funny, but he laughs for a second, reaching a hand back to put it in her knee. He looks at her when most might turn away.]
You love her, [he says with more conviction.] You love her, and you did the stupidest thing, and I get it.
[Softer:]
I would have done it for Miki, too.
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Huhhghhhh. [is her response. she's so embarrassed. especially when he relates it to miki, she - god, he just looks right at her. she wants to perish.
she's shown this memory to several people and nobody has just! said it! what do you mean she has to confront this!!]
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You really jumped on a bunch of spikes for her. [He isn't going to let it go. She did a stupid fucking thing, but this is way better than his shitty memories, so.] Hey.
[He nudges her with an elbow. His amusement softens.]
You should tell her. If you haven't. You should tell her because... you'll regret it forever if you never get the chance.
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It's... [she starts, and then just kind of sighs.]
No, you don't get it. She can't reciprocate. Even if I did [you do] I'd just be setting myself up for disappointment.
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Because she's a priestess?
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She's--what?
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Long story. There's a tomb. Nonagesimus was obsessed with it, opened it when she was a kid, saw the body in there and fell in love with it. She told me herself. She said I wanted to live forever in case she woke up, that's pretty cut and dry.
[there's no room for gideon in that.]
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Hello? What does he even say to this, help him. He blinks.] I... don't know if that sounds like she's in love with it. [Does it?
He thinks about Harrow, and he thinks about Harrow having Ryo similarities.]
She called you a flower.
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I don't know what to do about it. [which is about as honest as she can get. the stupidest thing is that gideon thinks it's obvious, and that she was turned down. not that either of them have talked about this in the least.]
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Is she stupid as hell? Yes. But so is he.]
You said she didn't remember the same things as you either, right? It's tough. [His weak smile is an attempt to be reassuring.] It's okay to say how you feel.
No matter what happens, or what she says, I think... you should be able to say how you feel. I know... I regret not telling Miki how I felt. Because I thought... it wouldn't work. Since I lived with them, since they were like family. I thought she'd only see my that way. So I never said anything. All that mattered was whether or not I could keep her safe, make her laugh.
[That's the serious answer. The not serious answer:]
You could always ask her for a kiss.
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she thinks about that stupid love potion, the one that didn't work, and rubs at her face.
and then akira gives her the not serious answer and she chokes on her own spit.]
-- Abso-fucking-lutely not.
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Gideon, come on. Don't let me be the only person who has kissed her. She wasn't even into it. I thought she was gonna claw my eyes out.
[Think of the shitty bar drink.]
Just ask if you can kiss her sometime when nothing is going on.
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[HOLD ON]
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He throws up his hands in surrender.] Hang on, it's not like that! [DON'T PULVERIZE HIM.]
It was at the party. Lavi drew one of those ten cards, and I couldn't find anyone fitting. I thought Kuranosuke was a girl, but I couldn't even find him then. So I picked Harrow.
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[... well, that's better, but. she looks vaguely disgruntled. everybody on the planet has kissed harrow before her. very funny.]
She can kiss whoever she wants, for the record. [yeah ok]
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...Including you, right? If you'd kiss her.
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If she wanted to.
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Think about it.
[He nudges her again.]
...And don't throw yourself onto anything pointy here, okay? Not even for her.
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I don't have a death wish. [this is not a promise, but like, hey. it's something.]
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(he would)
He glances forward.]
So that's the last thing you remember?
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Yep. [...] I vaguely remember screaming. There's - you know when you can't exactly remember something, but you've got the sense of it still? I have that, but with my sword in my hands, and screaming.
[so not like... the most fun memory ever, but you know.]
Was yours the last thing you remember?
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No... The last thing I remember... was lying on one of the last few rocks left on the planet we both destroyed while fighting, not being able to feel my lower half. Ryo was beside me. He was talking about... the stars, how the humans were gone, how... he didn't understand what I had meant, but... he sounded so far away.
And then it felt like I went to sleep.
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gideon shifts, and rests her chin on his shoulder again. it's comfortable this way, easy affection that she doesn't mind giving.]
At least it was sort of peaceful. [...] Do you want to go back? To life, I mean.
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