akira & scaramouche cesspit

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Comments

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[WHO WOULD TAKE OUR PEA LIKE THIS.]

Mmmmmg.

[Scaramouche has a point, he GUESSES. He turns and glances up at the large tomato, shielding his eyes with his hand. This is stupid. He's just going to ignore getting anything and

fling himself at the tomato plant, beginning to attempt to scale it up.]

[nascens]

[WE'VE BEEN PEA THEFTED WHAT THE FUCK

Anyway he's. He's just watching this happen. He isn't offering to help... Even on this the week of mass depression he's still a little shit. Just crossing his arms and observing!!]

How are you planning on getting it down after you reach it?

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[Well, Akira doesn't answer, but he also doesn't have to answer because Scaramouche soon finds out what he plans to do.

Which is, once he is up the plant on top of the tomato, he grapples the stem and starts attacking it with his teeth viciously.]

[nascens]

[I MEAN LIKE. THIS IS A WAY TO DO THINGS, I GUESS!!!]

There's no way you can chew through that entire thing.

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[He continues chewing vigorously through the stem like a rabbit maybe even the tuft flying ones.]

[nascens]

[MOM COME PICK HIM UP HE'S WITNESSING SOMETHING WEIRD.]

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[He has good jaws and sharp teeth, listen listen. It takes a while, but

he actually gets through most of the stem before the weight of the tomato helps break it the rest of the way and it falls.

His face is smattered green when he is finished.]

[nascens]

I never want to witness anything like that again.

[YA FUCKIN WEIRDO!!!!! But he will move over to approach the tomato after that, reaching out to pat its tomato-y side.]

Good work.

[A RARE WORD OF... g...gratitude ish...]

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Piece of cake.

[I just realized that technically when the tomato fell, the vine probably would have slung him away into the sunset which is funny.

Instead, he drops down on top of the tomato, hits it, and ricochets off onto his face on the ground.]

[nascens]

[HIS SOUL WAS LAUNCHED TO THE MOON.

Well. He just watches this happen and then steps around Akira to get at the other side of the tomato. He just fucking sticks his hand in anyway.]

You can have some, if you want.

[Like he's doing a Very Big Kindness by making this offer.]

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[WHY HELP ME DON'T JUST STICK THE HAND IN ANYWAYYYY]

Shouldn't you eat it with something else...?

[This is fine. He will get up and dust his ass off as he wanders over to Scaramouche and the hole side of the tomato.]

[nascens]

[YEAH YEAH HE STICKS IN THE HAND!! And pulls out a chunk of tomato pulp.]

Like what? A fresh fruit or vegetable on its own is fine.

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[DON'T. My God. I wish Akira cared more about how stupid sticking a whole hand inside of a tomato is, but he doesn't. He thinks it's fine. No big deal. He'd stick his hand in too. He will probably.]

I don't know. Like on a hamburger or in a salad or something. Pizza?

[nascens]

[HELP yeah join him! JOIN HIM!! TOMATO EATING.]

Just enjoy the tomato on its own, stop throwing things onto hamburgers.